So you don’t have to, I’ve started to transcribe the Padres Wednesdays interviews that Mighty 1090’s Dan Sileo does. This week’s was with Padres Jagoff’s #1 fan and Padres Chief Marketing Officer Wayne Partello.
Sileo: Hey Paisans! Thanks to Padres Wednesdays, we’ve got my BEST BUD Wayne Partello on for the Executive Report
Partello: Thanks for having me on, Dan… [cut off by Sileo]
Sileo: HEY! Your last name ends in a vowel! We’re both Paisans! I knew there was a reason we were best pals [blocks 18 Twitter users questioning his research despite them having last names of Rizzo, Romano and Bruno]
Partello: We have an exciting lineup of promotions coming up… [cut off by Sileo]
Sileo: Back when I played at THE U, I used to eat the best gnocchi that was just like mama used to make [injects pure steroids to relive his college football memories]
Partello: Our upcoming Wayback… [cut off by Sileo]
Sileo: Did you know I wore number 93 when I played at THE U?!?! Put that on my jersey when you bring me out to do a first pitch [furiously masturbates to YouTube videos of Gino Torretta highlights].
Partello: We’re really excited about Justin Upton’s recent play… [cut off by Sileo]
Sileo: Can you believe Adam Day dared to question my research on the CSAG plan? Doesn’t he know I worked ON WALL STREET for BEAR STEARNS [in a boiler room doing telemarketing sales]?!?! I am ALL KNOWING IN ALL MANNERS OF FINANCE. [uses Financial Times to wipe jelly donut filling off mouth]
Partello: I’m very proud of our new video board content… [cut off by Sileo]
Sileo: Let me tell you how sick it makes me that A-FRAUD is still collecting a paycheck [forgets about his own dismissal from U of Cinci for steroid use and focuses on pile of cannolis in front of him]
Partello: We are making important donations to the American Cancer… [cut off by Sileo]
Sileo: Can you believe how expensive new football stadiums are thanks to GREEDY and LAZY union laborers?!?! [cashes NFLPA union check, buys Willis McGahee jersey] Well, that’s all the time we’ve got for the Executive Report.
Partello: Glad to get some Padres talk on the radio… [cut off by Sileo]
Sileo: Thanks best paisan! It was great having you on to talk CSAG! [glues a color laser printer print out of Tom Brady’s mouth to a fleshlight]
Next week: Dan interviews Neil Degrassse-Tyson about quarks, subatomic particles, and the 1986 THE U d-line lifting parties.