It’s not that the Padres can’t sputter here and there over the course of a 162 game season. It’s just they really didn’t need to do so during this part of the schedule. With Tatis out and Darvish’s back barking, the Diamondback beat down was harsh. It was – get sloshed on whisky and shout about Eric Hosmer’s postgame speech being the most ridiculous this team has allowed to happen lately – bad. Really, really bad. It was – wake up pantless and with a full glass of watered down whisky on the table next to you – bad. Just shirtcocking the morning away. Where is the god damn dog? Fucking Padres got no hit by the Reiss Knehr of the Diamondbacks. What the fuck.

It was a terrible week. It’s not looking much better either. Fernando Tatis Jr. is back, but he is playing in the outfield. Because every successful team moves their MVP candidate to a new position, as in no professional experience at all at the new spot, during a playoff drive. Sure all he has done is hit home runs as a right fielder. But did our shortstop? He did? Well all right then. Maybe it’s not all bad. It’s still bad! Yu is getting up there in age so I expect a full and complete recovery any second. Any minute now. Oh, and Pom’s arm finally died. They had a funeral and everything. Lamet’s next.

It’s tough to stay down on this team though. Tatis comes back and knocks the ball around and out of the park all day and you just have your worries wiped away. One player making that big of an impact is pretty unheard of in baseball. Otherwise Mike Trout would be a World Series winner. Multiple times. But Fernando is different. He really drives this offense. He makes everyone better. Him, and of course, motivational speeches by Hos. Hos throwing that prestige value all over that clubhouse Saturday night. If you ask me, he earned his paycheck, Chief. Note to all, time your big players only meeting just before your out of this world super star comes back to the team.

But I can’t start thinking positively. I am here to rant. I need to get this out of my system because we are doomed. The Reds are coming! And maybe the Braves! Or is it the Phillies? What are those last two teams, like four games over .500? This is starting to feel forced. Hey, what am I supposed to worry about if those teams I’m getting worried about suck? Oh yeah, the Reds. I’m really worried about the Reds. Have they even been 10 games over .500 this season? Just wondering.

Speaking of 10 games, the Padres are now 10 games in back of the Giants. The Padres have two starters on the IL, and one you really don’t want to give the ball. So we are at the Musgrove and Snell pick this team up and drive it to the playoffs portion of the season. I couldn’t imagine ever wishing for Paddack to hurry back and yet here we are. Mackenzie Gore is probably running out of time to make it to the club this season. Seven weeks left. I’m not sure we’re going to have enough time. Just like catching the Giants.

The goal at this point is not just making the playoffs. The goal is to catch the dodgers. Nine games left with those assholes. Darvish should be back for that next series too. It would be so great to start to put some pressure on the team that “won the trade deadline.” There would be nothing better than a play-in game at Petco Park against them. Last week I tried to speak into existence a 20-5 record for August. The Padres promptly lost 4 games. 7-6 start for August might make it tough to go 20-5. With the sky falling and all, maybe I need to cool it with the playoff talk.