The Padres season is at the All Star break. They need this break too. They have played pretty poorly in July going 6-10 so far. They have 52 wins at this year’s All Star game. Last season they had 53 wins. They only won 26 more games the rest of last season. If this year’s squad wins only 26 more games AJ Preller will get fired. Bob Melvin should too. Burn the whole thing down and sell the ruble of Petco to the Chargers so they can turn the place into a football stadium. Baseball will be dead in San Diego and the true king of all sports in the USA can return to its rightful throne. Powder blue and gold baby! The Spanos family will be back! The most losingest franchise in MLB history will be put out of its and our collective misery. They had 53 years. Time to move on. Pour a little Hazy IPA out for the dead homies. I never liked them anyway.
Okay that was cathartic. I needed that. Like the Padres need this break. This team is not going to crumble. Jayce Tingler isn’t around. The Chargers are not coming back. Ever. The Spanos family is football franchise poor. They are third generation owners that make no money outside of the rising value of the team’s franchise. They can’t even pay their relocation fee. They can’t afford rent in LA. You should hate them like you hate the dodgers. Or, you can ignore them and the rest of the NFL like I do. Football is dying. Hopefully it dies off soon enough so we don’t keep shortening the lives of talented athletes just so a bunch of mouth breathing low IQ jerk-offs can get their weird kicks watching men bash their brains out. It’s not going to die off here in Texas anytime soon. It’s a state sponsored religion with multi-million dollar cathedrals built for the Friday Night Lights. But I’ll keep dreaming on a better society. Baseball is better. Soccer needs to rise above football and take over their stadiums. The world can be a better place.
But can the Padres be better? That is the important question to ponder. And I have more. Will Preller improve the roster? Will Fernando Tatis Jr. really come back? Is Wil Myers done? Who is Drew Pomeranz and is his shoulder intact? Is Pierce Johnson his real name or has he just been running the funniest gag on us ever? And can he pitch again? Will someone please take Eric Hosmer from us and end our long nightmare? Have you watched him “play” first base the last few weeks? It’s like he is daring the team to dfa him so he can get serious on working on his dad bod. And he hasn’t hit anything more than a single in 22 seasons. So he doesn’t have a dad bod because dads are strong. Hos has no power. Did I say seasons? It’s 22 days. It just feels like that long. Dude is so weak. Anyway, who wants him? The Padres will give you a catching prospect nobody likes if you take him. Maybe give up a slappy outfield prospect if you don’t need a stoned backstop. Preller is ready to make a deal.
Can Preller even make a deal? He is up against the Competitive Balance Tax, and no one seriously wants Hosmer or Myers so he will have to empty the farm just to get a taker. It’s a terrible use of prospect capital but at this point he really has no other options. Once one or both are moved he should still have enough to acquire some production on offense. I hear Juan Soto might be available. Has anyone seen a trade proposal regarding acquiring Soto? Just me? I’ve seen at least 3,000 so I’ve seen enough for everyone. The Padres aren’t getting Soto. They aren’t getting Mike Trout either. It’s Shohei Ohtani or bust. The Padres need a LH DH. And if he can pitch a little too, great. Lagniappe. The Padres need to go after a different National. Go get Josh Bell. Switch hitting first baseman with good power. Is that really a thing for a 1Ber? I don’t know anymore. It’s been so long. The Padres announcers have gaslit me about Hos not sucking for so long I don’t even know what a real first baseman performs like anymore. I think a dude with 0.2 fWAR on the season is no bueno, but it’s so hard to tell. Damn you, Don Orsillo. You are so smooth I sometimes believe Hos is decent. “He’s hit safely in 12 out of the last 16 games!” Don fails to tell us those are all singles and he actually hit .235 in that timeframe.
I’m going to enjoy this break. Four days off from the Padres games is a good thing. I’ll enjoy the Home Run Derby, and fall asleep during the All Star game. I’ll probably fall asleep for both because that derby is long and Pete Alonso is terrible tv. Plus my granddaughter Scarlett wakes me up at 6:30am and Pop is tuckered out by 9:00pm. She is great by the way. She smiles when she sleeps and squeaks like a porpoise when awake. She loves day games and I repeat the play by play to her after Orsillo says it so I am like her own personal Tony Gwynn Jr. Sometimes I throw in an advanced stat that is relevant to the situation or say something witty or tell an amusing story so Anthony probably should hit me up for lessons. The best thing about Anthony is he keeps Mark Sweeney out of the booth. I hope Mud is enjoying his nice long break. He deserves it. We all deserve a nice break. And then it is time to get serious. Time to turn this team into a serious contender. Let’s fucking go San Diego!