Home Opener! Dodgers Hit the Golden Showers
To celebrate the long awaited home opener, we bring you our expert prediction via MS Paint illustration of today’s game. The Padres can’t possibly start the season 1-6. Right? RIGHT?!?! […]
Author Archives: Harold James Preller
Dexter Fowler – Glory Hole Addict
As long as the Padres want to continue this silly charade of not playing winning baseball, we here at Padres Jagoff can keep harassing the opposing team via MS Paint […]
For Serious – Padres Season Ticket Holders… Sorry, "Members"… Totally Boned
Putting the MS Paint dick jokes on hold for a second, I think it’s important to discuss an important issue facing the Padres. I saw some recent discussion on Padres […]
Todd Helton Gets Iced… with PEEN
This picture was almost too easy. With the crushing Padres victory yesterday, it’s time for our BIG FREE AGENT ACQUISITION to show he’s worth all those millios. Jason Marquis will […]
*FART* Matt Harvey *FART*
The Padres hope to get on pace to an 81-81 record today against stupid buttface Matt Harvey and the putrid Mets. Watch out though, Matt Harvey pitches with some gas!
TOTAL EXCLUSIVE: New Grub at Petco: EL PUEBLO
As a season ticket holder, wait… sorry… a MEMBER, I obsess over the food options at Petco. I nagged last season about why, oh why, the Padres would tease us […]
That Didn’t Go Well…
The season started with a thud, but hey, Yonder Alonso home run! I’ve got a feeling he is going to have a huge year. Meanwhile, big stupidface Jon Niese and […]
Opening Day vs Jon Niese the Pe-niese
In honor of opening day, Padres Jagoff is making a triumphant return. The Padres are facing the sad sack Mets this morning, led by relative unknown Jon Niese. As this […]
Jayson Werth is thirsty!
The Padres are playing the Nats this week – the 1st place Nats – though I’d never say that after watching the Nats in DC since they moved there in […]
Todd Helton Has A Secret Talent! Padres win!
As the Padres head to Colorado after a tough weekend where they continually got crushed, struck out, lost in mind boggling fashion, and in general destroyed fan confidence, we can […]
Gwynntelligence 