In an auspicious debut, the remorseless slaughtering machine Rally Unicorn ™ came through in the clutch, rallying a Yonder Alonso lead off walk in the ninth, followed by a Denorfia two run game winning bomb. While Norf should get some credit (I estimate 12-13% of the credit), the Rally Unicorn deserves the lions share of the glory for its brave and fearless rallying. Cheers to you Rally Unicorn! Lets hope the Padres don’t need the Rally Unicorn tonight and just pummel Mat Latos.
Mat Latos seemed like a nice guy but now that he’s on the Reds I can hope for him to be totally humiliated on the mound. One plus, other than totally winning that trade, is that our announcers use the word “precocious” 99% less to describe our players. Anyways, here’s Mat getting jizzed on: