As we covered earlier this season, Baltimore is a league leader in the category of awfulness and despair. A people ever so proud of their Utz chips and Natty Boh, both products that have fled Maryland to be produced in other states. Their “BBQ”, pit beef, is middling at best. They have tried their best to legitimize lacrosse as a real sport due to their history of being awful at producing quality players in real sports. Their accents are infuriating (it’s water, not wutter). Their delicacy is crab cakes; literally pulled sea insect meat mixed with mayo. GOURMANDS! Walk any direction from the outdoor mall that is the Inner Harbor and you hit the set of The Wire where you’ll either get hassled by Bubbles for some cash or you’ll get stabbed in the face by Snoop. Either way, you don’t win. In short, Baltimore is the nations grundle. Much like our trip to Baltimore, I very much expect the Padres to literally eviscerate the lowly Orioles.
Here’s noted PED abuser Chris Davis showing his true colors: